Today, I would like to complain because I’m tired and overworked.  But I’m not going to because complaining doesn’t yield positive results.  And also, when I look at what I want to complain about, most of it is a direct result of my own choices.  Either I need to suck it up, or I need to change things.  But whining isn’t going to solve the problem of my exhaustion.

So even though I would LIKE to complain, I’m not going to!  I’m just going to get things done, and if that means I have to be on my feet for 16 hours a day, then I’m going to do that.  Maybe if I cut out the complaining, I will get some time back in my day.  Then I can grade your essays faster.  I’m going to give it a shot.

During an interview with a couple who has been married for 80 years, the question was asked how they managed to make it work for so many years.  The husband’s answer was, “It’s simple.  It’s about give and take…and compromise.”

He makes it sound so simple.  But maybe he’s on to something.  Perhaps the key to any relationship, not just a marriage, is constant compromise.  The unfortunate thing is that in society, the word “compromise” has become negatively connotated.  No one wants to compromise his morals or ideals.  We don’t want our safety to be compromised.  In the dictionary, though, the first definition is related to an agreement between parties.  It’s not until the 4th definition that a weakening of integrity is mentioned.  Originally, the word compromise meant “a mutual settlement.”

So when we think about what compromising actually means in an 80 year relationship, it’s very overwhelming.  For 80 years, they came to agreements about daily life, both the big things and the small.  He said it was about “give and take.”  Many times, in relationships, this means giving of the self as much as possible, but being willing to take help when it is needed.  It means preserving the dignity of the other person at all cost, and accepting aid with humility. 

That’s not an easy thing to do, which is why the divorce rate is so high and why we don’t remain friends with every person we’ve ever forged a relationship with.  With selfishness and arrogance moving through the human population at a rapid rate, it’s only going to get harder.

I joked with my husband the other day about us living to be 100.  He looked at me for a brief second, and then said that he wasn’t really interested in living that long.  I asked him if he was picturing me looking like the Crypt Keeper.  He said no, but he was wishing that if we had to live to 100, he was hoping to go deaf by the age of 85.  We got a lot of laughs, because of course, he was teasing me.  My hope is that if we can manage to stay alive for a whole century, that by that point, we’ve mastered the compromise thing.  It might take us that long, but at least we would have done it together, giving and taking…and laughing a lot along the way.

I know what I want to write about, but I haven’t had enough time to formulate my thoughts yet.  Here’s what’s going on in my head.  I realized today that no matter how hard I try to instill strong values in my students, and no matter how much energy I put into being a good role model, some of my students aren’t going to listen to any of it.  I can only imagine what parents feel like when they see their children acting in unethical ways. 

So here’s your shot of truth for today.  It sounds bleak, but there are people out in the world who really don’t care if they can look themselves in the eye every day.  And there are even more people who can still look at themselves in the mirror and like what they see even though they’ve mistreated others.  It sounds like a crazy concept to some of us, those of us who do what we can to preserve the feelings of others, those of us who live with honesty, and those of us who feel compelled to make amends when we have committed a transgression against another person.

I’m sorry that I have to tell you this.  I’m sorry that you’ll have to work with those people.  Some of you will have friendships with people like this.  And a few of you will date people like this.   All you can do is protect yourselves by working hard and living a life of respect for the world.  You can only hope that your example will make a difference to someone who isn’t following an ethical compass. 

Just remember that not everyone has the drive to save the world.  That’s why it’s such a difficult task.

Last night, the SAG awards took place, and for many actors, winning a SAG is the highest honor because it’s the actors who do the voting for the awards.  There was a lot of talk about dreams last night…about striving to reach them and the glory that is felt when that dream is realized. 

I think that dreams are wonderful.  It’s ok to have dreams, even if they are far-fetched or next to impossible.  However, it’s also important to have reachable goals, ones that we can achieve in our lifetimes, ones that we can be proud of on a regular basis. 

There’s a difference between a dream and a goal, and it’s important to know that difference.  Perhaps if you feel like you aren’t accomplishing much in life, you need to re-think what’s on your to-do list.  Maybe you have too many dreams and not enough goals.

Between giving 10 presentations about the Academy, teaching my classes, and organizing report cards, organized blogging isn’t going to get done today.  I’m very sorry for that.  We will return to our regularly scheduled pontificating on Monday.

Be good people.

Yesterday, I met a new person.  Within 20 minutes of being introduced to me, he told me the following things about himself:

• He has pancreatic cancer
• He divorced his wife so that she wouldn’t have to suffer with him.
• He’s  now dating a 21 year old.
• His ex-wife is now with a taller, richer, better looking guy.
• He’s into extreme sports like bungee jumping and sky diving.
• He has four advanced degrees, including a PhD in Management Information Systems.
• He got his Series 7 license just for fun.
• He’s a licensed plumber in the state of Ohio, just for fun.
• He used to be a college professor of Economics.  That’s how he met the 21 year old girlfriend.
• He volunteers at the Humane Society.
• His knee is prosthetic. 

You might think I’m kidding here, but I can’t make this stuff up.  After a certain point in time, I could tell that my husband was getting tired of the constant “I’m-so-cool” tidbit-dropping, especially because most of it wasn’t impressive; it was just sad.   Honestly, I was so fascinated by the fact that this guy thought I cared about his weird life to shut him down.  I wanted to hear what was coming next because the more he piled on, the crazier it sounded…and the less I respected him.

There’s no way that all of his stories are true.  There might be a shred of truth to each story, but he was so un-genuine about his delivery that it was crystal clear that he wasn’t actually telling the full truth.  Yesterday, I was mildly amused by his cartoonish-ness.  Today, I just have pity for a man who might or might not be very ill, both physically and mentally.

The lesson is that people can pick up on when others are purposefully inflating their life stories.  Also, it’s never a good idea to unload every detail of your life on complete strangers, especially in professional situations.  Nobody likes the guy who constantly blows smoke.  They might keep him around for awhile, just for entertainment purposes or because they feel sorry for him.  But they don’t like him, and they don’t consider him a real friend because he’s fake and they can’t trust him.

Sometimes I struggle to find things to write about.  Other times, ideas are just handed to me, like today. 

Due to some business with…well, business, I didn’t get around to blogging until later in the morning, and honestly, I wasn’t sure what to focus on.  Sure, the State of the Union was on last night, but I wrote about politics yesterday, and with the upcoming election, my posts in the fall will probably be all-politics, all the time.

So I was saved from this repetitive fate when Jacob handed me fodder for this post.  Literally, he came up to me, handed me a piece of paper, and said, “This would be a great quote for your blog.”  Thanks to Jacob, we will now all be inspired by the words of Stephen King.

He says, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others:  Read a lot and write a lot…reading is the creative center of a writer’s life…you cannot hope to sweep someone else away by the force of your writing until it has been done to you.”

This makes me flash back to all of the hours that I spent reading as a child and as a teenager.  I was so willing to be swept away by a good story or a heroic character.  And that’s what sparked my love of literature.  It’s what allowed me to scream out loud when Dumbledore died.  It’s what made my spine tingle when I was reading Poe’s “Ligeia” on a dark summer night.  It’s what made me feel like I got punched in the face when I read the last line of Wharton’s “Roman Fever.”

Perhaps reading isn’t something that has captivated you in your life.  If it isn’t, you might be missing out.  Part of the problem is that you haven’t found the right literature to sweep you away.  But King is right; if you aren’t a reader, it’s going to be very hard for you to understand what it means to be a writer. 

Right now, I am watching you type furiously on the computers.  I hope your “Laws of Life” essays are what is coming out.  Perhaps you are asking yourselves if you are writers.  Maybe the answer is yet to be decided.  Yes, you are writers by activity.  But are you writers by choice?  Will you be writers in the future? 

The answer could be hidden in a book…that one little tidbit that inspires you to pick up a pen.  Let me warn you, though.  If you pick the pen up, you may never want to put it down, and that’s how you end up as a daily blogger…or even worse, a high school English teacher.

I have to shake my head.  This political situation has gotten out of hand, and it isn’t even the final race yet.  We don’t even know the Republican candidate, and yet, crazy people are getting violent.

An innocent cat has been murdered in the name of politics, and that’s unsettling to me.  An Arkansas campaign director for the Democratic party found his slaughtered cat on his doorstep with the word “Liberal” painted on the body.  How disturbed would you have to be in order to do something like that to a little animal who can’t even register to vote? 

The thing is that if you resort to violence and senseless acts against innocent beings, no one is going to listen to what you have to say anyway.  If you’re going to make a statement, it should be one that people can listen to or read or watch without being horrified.  Trust me, I understand the idea of getting fired up about politics, but the members of the public need to understand that they have to exercise common decency when airing their opinions. 

Otherwise, the whole thing is just going to turn into a bloodbath…and the wrong blood will be shed.

For some of you, today seems like the beginning of the end.   It’s the first day of your last semester in high school.  I’m going to get a little preachy today because I’m allowed to, and it’s not going to be the last time either.  At some point, you are going to try to pull the excuse of Senioritis.  And then I’m going to remind you that your excuse is junk. 

I’m going to burst your bubble here.  I know that you have worked hard for the last 12.5 years of your education, but your work is not done.  It’s not even close to being done.  In fact, it’s going to get a lot harder.  If you think that life gets so much easier after you graduate, you really are in for an unpleasant surprise.  Whether you are headed to college or the work place, it’s going to be more challenging than high school.

Also, this is the last time that education is going to be FREE.  If your schedule in the afternoon includes an array of study halls and early releases, perhaps you should consider taking an elective course to learn something.  Again, no one is going to offer you free education ever again.  Take advantage NOW.

Alright, I’m done for today, but I promise that there will be more wisdom (and lecturing) to come in the next four months.  It’s time to buckle up and get some work done.  Today isn’t just the first day of the last semester.  It’s the first day of the next part of your life.